聽神談【青少年如何化解父母的操控指揮？】
尼爾(替伊利諾州少女珊德拉問)：爲什麽父母不能讓我們做我們自己，而不是反過來告訴我們，他們要我們做誰？
全世界父母都面對的最大挑戰，就是停止指揮他們孩子的生活。
父母對他們的孩子會有一種高的希望，一種夢想和熱望。
尼爾：沒錯，但這些是他們的希望和夢想，並非我們的！
是的，但當他們對你們有如此深的感情，當他們愛你們這麽深，尤其是當他們真誠地認爲，他們真的知道「什麽對你們是最好的」時，他們就很不容易放下這些希望和夢想！
而當這些父母同時也是這麽多年一直被你依靠、被你仰賴來為你提供指引和方向的人，就更不容易做到。
那是個很難放棄的角色，那是個很難結束的任務。
尼爾：那麽你是說，我只能必須「忍受它」嗎？
你能幫助你父母，首先，理解他們有多難「放手」，並且給他們時間去調適他們身爲「給予忠告者」或「傾聽者」的新角色，而非「給予指引」的角色。
希望你們永遠不要停止偶爾去找父母給你忠告，因爲他們的忠告經常會是非常好的。
父母在孩子生命的早期——通常比他們以爲的要早——便可以從給予「指引」轉變爲給予「忠告」，或指引你回到自己內在的智慧與真理。如果他們是以愛，而非以恐懼在扶養他們孩子，就更是如此。
害怕犯錯的孩子必須更密切地給予更長期的照顧。
摘自《與神對話 青春版》第8章
Neale: Why can't parents just let us be who we are insted of telling us who they want us to be ?
It is the most difficult challenge faced by parents everywhere to stop directing the lives of their children.
Parents have such high hopes for their children, such dreams and aspirations.
Neale: Yes, but, these are their hopes, but these are their hopes and dreams, not ours!
Yes, but it is not easy for them to let go of these when they feel so deeply about you, when they love you as much as they do, and especially when they honestly think that they do know what's best for you!
It is also not easy to do when these very same parents are the ones who have been counted on, depended upon, for all these years to provide guidance and direction for you.
It's a tough role to give up. It's a difficult as- signment to end.
Neale: So what are you saying, I just have to "put up with it" ?
You can help your parents, first, by understanding how difficult it is for them to "let go," and by giving them time to adjust to their new role as advice-giver or listener, rather than direction-giver.
Hopefully you will never stop going to your parents at times for advice, because their advice will often be very good.
The switch from giving "directions" to giving "advice" or pointing you back to your own inner wisdom and truth can be made by par- ents fairly early in the lives of their children— usually earlier than they think. This is especially true if they have raised their children with love and not fear.
Children who are afraid of making mistakes must be watched more closely for a longer period of time.
