聽神談【「關係」提供給你此生的機會和目的】
對所有人的人生而言,「關係」只會有一個目的:去決定和去成為「你真正是誰」...
關係的目的並不是擁有一個「能令你完整」的人;而是享有一個「你可以與他分享你的完整」的人(The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.)。
這是人類所有的「關係」看似矛盾卻非常真實之處:為了讓你能完全地體驗「你是誰」,你並不需要一個特定的他人,然而……沒有另一個人,你卻什麼也不是。(You have no need for a particular other in order for your to experience, fully, Who You Are, and…without another, you are nothing.)
這既是人類經驗的神秘和神奇,也是人類經驗的挫折和喜悅之處。你們需有深入的理解和完全的意願,才能以一種有意義的方法運用這看似矛盾的情境場。我的觀察是你們很少有人能做到這點(意思是,很少人懂得去運用這美妙設計的關係情境場)。
你們大多數人進入你們「關係形成」的歲月,是帶著滿懷期待、充滿性能量、一顆開放的心,及一個喜悅(如果帶有渴望)的靈魂。
大約在四十歲到六十歲之間(大部分人比這更早而非更晚),你們就已放棄了你們的最大夢想,把你們的最高希望擱置一邊,而勉強安於你們的最低期望——或根本一無所期。
這是個非常基本、非常簡單,但已被人們非常悲慘地誤解的問題:你們最大的夢想,你們最高的想法,以及你們最喜愛的希望,都是與你們摯愛的別人(other),而非你們摯愛的自己(Self *註)有關。
你們對關係的測試考驗始終在於「別人能附合你的想法多少,以及你覺得自己能附合他人的想法多少」。然而,真正的考驗卻只在於「你能附合你更高自己的想法」有多少(the only true test has to do with how well you live up to yours)。
關係是神聖的,因為關係提供了人生最大的機會——的確,它是唯一的機會——去創造及產生你們對「較高的自己」之最高觀念的經驗(to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of Self)。而當你們將關係視為去創造及產生你們對「別人」之最高觀念的經驗時,關係便會失敗。
摘自《與神對話 I》第8章
(*註:字首大寫的 Self 在與神對話信息中的意思是指「真正的自己」、「較高自我」、「較高版本的自己」、「高我」、「本我」,或「higher mind 較高心智」。不是指頭腦當家的「physical mind 物質心智」或小寫的 self。)
Every relationship, and hold each as special and formative of Who You Are—and now choose to be...
The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.
Here is the paradox of all human relationships: You have no need for a particular other in order for you to experience, fully, Who You Are, and… without another, you are nothing.
This is both the mystery and the wonder, the frustration and the joy of the human experience. It requires deep understanding and total willingness to live within this paradox in a way which makes sense. I observe that very few people do.
Most of you enter your relationship-forming years ripe with anticipation, full of sexual energy, a wide-open heart, and a joyful, if eager, soul.
Somewhere between 40 and 60 (and for most it is sooner rather than later) you've given up on your grandest dream, set aside your highest hope, and settled for your lowest expectation—or nothing at all.
The problem is so basic, so simple, and yet so tragically misunderstood: your grandest dream, your highest idea, and your fondest hope has had to do with your beloved other rather than your beloved Self. The test of your relationships has had to do with how well the other lived up to your ideas, and how well you saw yourself living up to his or hers. Yet the only true test has to do with how well you live up to yours.
Relationships are sacred because they provide life's grandest opportunity—indeed, its only opportunity—to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of Self.
Relationships fail when you see them as life's grandest opportunity to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of another.