懂得去正視 「什麼是關係」並發自內心地想更完整地理解它——如關係的目的、本質、功能等——是每一個人此生(或不論再輪迴幾世)遲早都必定要正視、理解和跨越的一扇門。
神奇的是,當你真正跨越這扇門時,你將驚奇又讚嘆地發現,它竟是一個如此巨大無比又完美的禮物!不妨,就從反芻此篇的內容開始,讓我們更完整地認識和理解什麼是「關係」。
聽神談【什麼是「關係」(Relationships)?】
尼爾:對於關係(relationships)我要學到什麼時候才有辦法讓它們在我的生活中順利運作?到底有沒有一種「可以讓我在關係中保持快樂」的方法?關係必得是經常不斷的挑戰嗎?
關於「關係」,你(尼爾)沒有需要學習的東西。你需要的,只是去展現那你已經知道的東西。
的確是有一個「能讓人們在關係中得到快樂」的方法,那就是,以它們(關係)本該有的目的去運用關係(use relationships for their intended purpose),而非以你所設計的目的在運用。
關係是經常具挑戰性的;關係經常會召喚你去創造、表現和經驗你自己之更高又更高的面向、你自己之更宏偉又更宏偉的視野、你曾有過的更高版本的你自己。
沒有任何比在關係裡面「你更能即刻地、具衝擊力地,並且完美無瑕地做到」上述這點的地方。事實上,沒有「關係」,你們完全無法做到(In fact, without relationships, you cannot do it at all.)。唯有透過你與其他人們、地方及事件的關係,你才能夠在宇宙裡存在(作為一個可知的量體,作為一個可被認明的某物)。
記住,當每樣東西都不在時,你也不在。只有在相對於「不是你」的關係情境裡,你才「是你」。這就是相對世界(world of the relative)的運作模式,相較於絕對世界(world of the absolute)——我所居之處——是相反的。
一旦你清楚地了解這點,一旦你深切地理解了它,你會直覺地祝福你的每一個經驗、你與所有人的相遇,尤其是個人的人際關係,因為以最高的意義來看,你視它們為建設性的。你明白它們可以如何被使用、必須被使用,正在被使用(不論你想不想要它們那樣),是為了來讓你們建構「你們真正是誰」。
那建構可以是一種「你有意識地設計的宏偉創作」,或,完全只是個結構配置下的偶發事情。你可以選擇做一個「只是在所發生的事情下產生某個結果」的人,或是,做個從「你選擇成為什麼樣的人,而對所發生的事(自然會)去做什麼樣的事」的人。只有在後者的形式中,較高自我的創造(creation of the Self)才變得意識可見。只有在第二種經驗裡,你們的較高自我(Self)才得以實踐。
因此,祝福每一個關係,將每一個關係視為特殊且形成「你是誰」——並且是你現在選擇成為的誰。
摘自《與神對話 I》第8章
Neale: When will I learn enough about relationships to be able to have them go smoothly? Is there a way to be happy in relationships? Must they be constantly challenging?
You have nothing to learn about relationships. You have only to demonstrate what you already know.
There is a way to be happy in relationships, and that is to use relationships for their intended purpose, not the purpose you have designed.
Relationships are constantly challenging; constantly calling you to create, express, and experience higher and higher aspects of yourself, grander and grander visions of yourself, ever more magnificent versions of yourself.
Nowhere can you do this more immediately, impactfully, and immaculately than in relationships. In fact, without relationships, you cannot do it at all.
It is only through your relationship with other people, places, and events that you can even exist (as a knowable quantity, as an identifiable something) in the universe.
Remember, absent everything else, you are not. You only are what you are relative to another thing that is not. That is how it is in the world of the relative, as opposed to the world of the absolute—where I reside.
Once you clearly understand this, once you deeply grasp it, then you intuitively bless each and every experience, all human encounter, and especially personal human relationships, for you see them as constructive, in the highest sense. You see that they can be used, must be used, are being used (whether you want them to be or not) to construct Who You Really Are.
That construction can be a magnificent creation of your own conscious design, or a strictly happenstance configuration. You can choose to be a person who has resulted simply from what has happened, or from what you’ve chosen to be and do about what has happened. It is in the latter form that creation of Self becomes conscious. It is in the second experience that Self becomes realized.
Bless, therefore, every relationship, and hold each as special and formative of Who You Are—and now choose to be.